The Hype Monster.

When I don’t like something…..anything that everyone else does or not AS MUCH as everyone else does, I literally start going mental thinking about it and my brain starts running through all the reasons why that could be.

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Is it just a case that it wasn’t my thing? Were there too many problems I saw? Did my own values or experiences or mood influence it and make me see it differently? But there’s one thing I always come back to and that’s the Hype Monster — which is both a good and bad thing for different reasons.

I am always hungry for new music. So it often happens that I have already heard the song before they have a chance to be hyped. Or a movie. Or maybe a book. I am a true bookworm so I usually read a book before someone comes up to me and says hey…you gotta read this. Its amazing. In those case, its like I’m doing it in my own little personal bubble. I have few to no opinions to influence my thinking and really NO expectations to live up to. It’s something that I may or may not enjoy and that’s all I know about it. It’s a less stressful process overall.

But then let’s take the song/book/movie……Thing that I’m somehow late to the game on…stuff that people RAVE about and which seem to be universally loved. I go…hmmm. This seems to be popular lately. Let’s see what it’s like. But then it really deflates me when I find that it really wasn’t all that. I mean, it’s often the situation that I LIKED it but not as much as everyone else did — I didn’t get that O.M.G….#favsong or the life-changing experience that so many trusted people talked about. All those REASONS that made this thing their favorite. I sit there and wonder that, if I had been a complete newbie to this song and never heard anything about that book, would I have felt differently?

So I sit there all like…”Ok, Thing [btw I don’t actually call it a thing, this is because it can be anything…book/movie/song/video], would I have liked you MORE had I found you back when you just came out and there was relatively no hype? Or would it have been the same? Or was it that maybe you really just weren’t the one for me?”

And *long sigh* obviously, I don’t have the answer to that. It’s not like I go back in time or try that thing in a vacuum where I hear basically nothing about it. But I feel sad for the poor things I could have probably LOVED if I hadn’t such high expectations of them because of all the hype. I’m SO easily wavered with the opinions that I begin to expect too much. So much that it’s hard to read without being influenced by them. I JUST WANT TO BLOCK THEM ALL OUT so I can have my own experience that is free of any hype.

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……okay so this post took me an hour to think and perfectly type up so that it exposed my emotions. I think it more than covered what I was feeling and I am being ridiculous because this is what happens when everyone around me is going crazy about Hymn For The Weekend while I am going bonkers wondering if there’s something wrong with me. There I said it. I can practically feel your eyes judging me.

WELP.  xD

Yours, forever Miss. Bonkers,

Zeebee.

 

P.S.   So what about you? Do you ever think about this? Are there any such things you think you probably would have LOVED more if there wasn’t that dreaded hype monster or any sort of built up expectations because of people’s opinions – like if you found them early on? Or do you think you were always destined probably not to LOVE those books? How do you keep those expectations at bay so that you aren’t disappointed later on?

The Rainy Days.

I wake up and immediately look out the window at the sky……And sigh. The sky looks like a mirror again. Perfect, blue, still. Its so sunnyyyy!! I am peeved by the lack of dark clouds on the horizon. I imagine throwing a rock against that perfect screen, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Maybe a ticked off Zeus will peer out, with a frown that would easily demote Ma’s face when she finds out that yet again, I have snoozed past my alarm.

In the class just after lunch break, I look up and I see it. Looming far away with a menacing air of purpose. It’s headed this way for sure. A smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. The pluviophile in me rears her dreamy philosophical head.

It takes the entire afternoon to get here. In the meantime I doze and daydream through two classes and a lab and spend the afternoon doodling random stuff in my notebook instead of concentrating.  All the while my ear out for those soft footfalls.  The pitter-patter that announces its arrival. My seatmate scolds me and tells me to study. I wave her off and continue drawing after stealing a glance out the window.492084862

Finally I’m done with classes for the day. I throw a disapproving look at the sky. “Cheater,” I mutter under my breath and I’m answered by a strong gust of wind that messes up my usual messed up hair even more. I tell myself to calm down. Don’t expect too much, Zeebee, I think glumly to myself, It’ll blow away.

As I walk down the building, the air gets cooler. It’s gusty by the time I reach the ground floor. People are laughing and planning the long weekend ahead. “Come on already,” I beg silently. “It’s not like I’m not asking for much,” I pout. And then it happens.

A drop suddenly falls on my nose, making me look up. A loud rumble follows as if to catch my attention, if by chance I had missed its previous attempt. Well to be honest, it certainly worked. People stopped, gazed at the sky and ran for cover. The ones who live nearby rushed to their vehicles, hoping to reach home before it started in earnest. The smarter ones dug into their bags. The security guard blew his whistle. The sleeping dog moved to a tree and continued with its life’s vocation. And in the midst of all this activity I stood, my grin growing wider by the second. Awaiting that glorious event which would be the perfect setting for a first kiss, a dramatic break-up, a violent fight or maybe a cheesy Bollywood dance number.

And my patience is soon rewarded. The familiar scent of wet earth and mud reach me. It is very windy now.

431175910e70dfee3eebae4a573638c1Another great rumble and the much awaited pitter-patter begins. The concrete becomes spotted in a wink and the next thing you know….it’s drenched. Like my t-shirt. Or my hair. Or my new pop art sneakers which I spent the entire day protecting from dust. Shit! I race for my two-wheeler, skipping over the water-logged areas, grinning all the way.

 

On post-thought, anyone who saw me must have thought me demented.

Oh well.

 

Count Your Blessings…

They’d given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around my neck! You mark of Cain! You wretched beast high ceilings and few horsepower!”
                                                                                                                            ― John Green, Paper Towns

Yo peoplezzzz…..

Today is rant-day. So be prepared.

Soooooo…..there’s this thing that I have often noticed…..Why are we always complaining? Why do we constantly stress ourselves out? Every time I get together with my friends these days that’s all we seem to do, it’s like we get a kick out of comparing notes on how miserable we are! Moaning that we’re fed up with life, we need a twelve month holiday, there’s toooooo much course work to complete and tooooo many assignments to complete in no time at all! It’s soooo depressing, not to mention exhausting to talk about time after time, after time…:/

We’re always putting this unnecessary weight on our shoulders. Comparing our lives to that of EVERYBODY around us! Why the hell? Convincing ourselves that we should be a lot more accomplished than we feel we are. Again, why the hell?

So-and-so got this award somewhere, what’s-her-face just got in a relationship, what’s-his-name just got into an awesome internship! We tell ourselves that we’re failures in comparison, that we could do so much better, that we need to come up with a five-year plan because of course that will solve everything! As Randy Pausch says “If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well things can work out… Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”…………….That’s true, right?  We’re forever racing against time, contemplating our next big move, believing that the grass is greener on every side that we’re not on.

Aww maaaannnn……what’s with all this negative shit? It’s soooo contagious yet…….totally needless. So let’s just take a second to think rationally and cut ourselves some much needed slack.

Hmmmm……true. Sometimes it does help to talk to people from different backgrounds to our own, with different sets of responsibilities and priorities. People who in actuality may be a lot worse off than us but are noticeably more content with their lives. Often that’s all that it takes for us to realise that…….Oi! Self! PAUSE MODE!! We’re NOT epic failures, we DON’T have the worst lives in the world. We’re actually pretty lucky! Failing to count our blessings (which we have so many of) is something that we’re all guilty of.

So let me recount my blessings. I’m fortunate to be able to say that I actually enjoy my Uni life, I have no urge to scream into a pillow or pull my teeth out whenever Sunday night rolls around[mostly at least]. To my utter utter pride and delight, I have discovered that I can actually complete my assignments on time if I plan well. I have a roof over my head and have my food provided at required times. I can mostly overcome my social anxiety and manage to talk to people as I like. My family is more close-knit than it’s been in a long time. And I’m in awesome health. Most people dont get that, self. So get your head outta you-know-where and be happy!!!

These are some of the things that I need to remind myself of the next time that I decide to pay a visit to Emo Mode: this weirdass mode wherein the favoured way to pass the time is to pace the streets fretting that the world is against me. Well…..Newsflash dude: it’s not!

SMH.complaining

Yours in-an-awesome-mood-again,

Zeebee.

P.S. Look at me go….complaining about complaining! Hehe….:D